So, the damn elevators are at it again! Despite technological advancements, and numerous hours of maintenance and repair, 3 of the 4 elevators in my building are not operating.This is not a new event, but rather a semi-regular occurrence that I have been forced to endure for over 3 years. I have spoken to the management office on several occasions, and have heard that it is the result of inappropriate elevator usage. Really? Get in. Push a button. Go up, or go down. Pretty simple operating instructions. However, management insists that the users are the cause. I understand, I mean, not everyone is capable of properly using an elevator. So, if that is indeed the case, hire someone to carry out this seemingly basic task! But fix the elevators!!


In the summer of 2014, they redid all of the elevators. New wood panelling, mirrored walls above the panelling, new control panel, and beautifully tiled floors. Wonderful idea! nice to look at when you get in, and since you won’t be going anywhere, the ambience is, of course, of primary importance!!

Prior to moving downtown, when I was a suburbanite, I had no elevator. There were only stair cases in the house. I went up and down at will. Whenever I wanted. And so, I have again taken to using the stairs. Less aesthetically pleasing than the elevators, but far more functional.

I hate elevators. I hate how crowded they get. I hate the people who squeeze into them, until I can no longer breathe. I hate the fact that it stops on every floor now, for no apparent reason except that it does not work properly. I have no interest in looking at myself in a mirror, and the silence in the elevator, broken only by an incoming text message on some hipster’s cell phone, is deafening. And eerily uncomfortable.


So the stairs. 19 floors. 2 dogs, Coffee from Tim Horton’s, and more often than not, a 6 pack of Chinese beer. Not easy. Not aesthetically pleasing. Not for ordinary men. But then, I am no ordinary man. So, I use the stairs.It is unlikely that this will ever change, I mean it has been going on for over 3 years and, according to the reputable patrons of the nearby methadone clinics that live here, it has always been that way. I would consider moving, but it is impossible to get the service elevator, as it has never worked. Another letter has gone off the the Landlord-Tenant Review Board, and to my Member of Provincial Parliament. I really don’t want anything, I mean, other than for the elevators to work. As planned. Properly. I would like them to go up and down, as they are supposed to.

I have strongly urged that an elevator operator be secured, as it will stop the users from damaging the elevators. They have promised to have them all fixed and working effectively within a few days. We shall see, but if I do not see an elephant, it will all be for naught!!!

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