Man vs Dog

I have been trying to figure out, for some time, if my dogs are smarter than my sons. Sometime yesterday afternoon it occurred to me that the answer is yes. I have spent over 30 years with my sons, raising and rearing them, teaching them, modelling for them, helping them and explaining all of life’s scooby-and-shaggy-scooby-doo-38561848-500-281lessons to them. 30  years!!  You would think that over the course of 30 years  they would have learned how to wash a  dish!! No, they can’t do that!! After all of that time, one would imagine that they would have learned to take out the trash. Really!! 30 years! 30 years and they haven’t figured out how not to piss me off, or to not drink my beer, or ask me for money. No-it seems they haven’t learnt a  thing!!

My dogs, on the other hand, have been around me for 10 years. They do what I tell them to do, when I tell them to do it, and where I tell them to do it. It took me months to toilet train my sons, but only 4 days to teach the dogs where to go!! The dogs will never touch my stuff, and if they are caught doing something I don’t want them to do,  they understand that they shouldn’t do it a second time. My sons have been doing the same crap over and over again, despite my displeasure, and still think they can ask me for money!!  My dogs wait for me to come home, wag their tails when they see me, follow me around the house and wait patiently for my attention. My sons have no idea when I am home, do whatever they can to avoid me, and badger me when they want something. Even now, while they no longer live with me, they come over to visit and leave a mess in whatever room they were in; dishes and crumbs everywhere; empty packages of fudgeos or oreos left in the pantry; empty beer bottles on the table-boy, do they piss me off!! My dogs only leave a mess outside!! No where else. They eat and drink in the same place everyday, every time and never leave a mess. They ask for little and get so much!! Wonder why the boys can’t figure that out? My sons got inoculations and screamed. My dog had his balls cut off and not a sound!! One of my 03-fred-dinosons came home after a night of drinking, and fell up a flight of stairs. My dogs just sat there, shaking their heads and I think I saw a smirk on one of their faces. Really!! One of my sons has piercings in his tongue, nose, lip and eyebrow. My dogs are happy with their little boots. My sons complain about life-how tough it is, how hard it is, how unfair it is, while my dogs are content with whatever they have!!  Interesting, isn’t it? Yes, my dogs are indeed smarter than my sons. They probably always will be! If only I had put a leash on my sons way back then!!!

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